I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
