so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
