This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
