i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I forget how to act sober
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