i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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