I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
