my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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