Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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