This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
