so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i believe in u and ur pee
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
