we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
