Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
