Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
