How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She even gives head with a lisp.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
