i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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