i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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