There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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