he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
