he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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