i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
