Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
