please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
