Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
