in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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