this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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