can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
