maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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