dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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