ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
