i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
