I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
