when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize