Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish I only lived at night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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