carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love you.
Bad choice
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