my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
