no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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