wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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