The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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