your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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