no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
