You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
two words: eviction party
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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