he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
