Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
