That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Boobs are out for the taking
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
