What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
