It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
