you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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