yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
