U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize