You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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