It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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