grandma shit on top of the toilet
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You can't just leave with hair like that
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
