just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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