at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
