Dual....:-)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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