I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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