i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize