we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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