i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
