oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
