There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
