I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize