Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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