is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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