Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
