Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
